so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
