he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize