God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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