you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
