I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
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He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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