we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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