First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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