We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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