Can Purell be used as lube?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
