Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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