glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
