He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Randomize