But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
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I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
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The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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