Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
