It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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