I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
