xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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