these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
