I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
