He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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