You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Just cropdusted the office
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
