i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
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Do I have a choice?
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It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize