Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
