I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
