just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
