Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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