i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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