Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
