apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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