shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
