Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
