Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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