I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
