she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
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