so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
