just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I didn't notice because vodka
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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