i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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