oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Randomize
