I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
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