i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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