Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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