The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Help. Why am I so naked?
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