what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
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He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
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