You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
