Barsexuality is the new black.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
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