Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
