so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
