Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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