My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
