We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
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Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
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You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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