so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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