he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
