Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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