i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
