My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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