you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I want to fling myself into the sun
Randomize
