You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
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This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
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I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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